I started my morning by harvesting tops of Tulsi or Sacred Basil. I immediately knew that this would be a wonderful experience, for this patch of Tulsi surrounds a Rose bush and I was being washed by the scents of Rose and Tulsi while being sung to by the Bees visiting Rose. This was an intoxicating, heady, and beautiful undertaking. My Heart was filling with gratitude for these two amazing Plants and for the gift of starting the day with them.
Soon thoughts of my dear friend Kaitlin O'Shea started coming forward. Kate Loves Tulsi! Early this Summer, when it became clear that Kate was leaving this world, I bought her a Tulsi plant. Unable to buy only one, I bought several others. I took a Plant to Kate, I potted another one work with the Music of the Plants device, and I planted the others. These are the Plants that I was harvesting this morning, so it is only natural that Katie would be on my mind.
Quicker than it took for you to read the last paragraph, the thoughts became tears. Despite what you may think, these were not tears of sadness at the loss of my friend, but tears of gratitude that my Heart was blessed by her. After experiencing deep, deep grief with the death of my brother, I came to realize that grief is another expression of Love. We often try to suppress our grief for many reasons: not wanting to be vulnerable, fear of our feelings, thinking it is selfish, because our religion says we should be rejoicing, etc. I have too often seen the effects of repressed grief returning in the form of serious illness. I want to say to everyone who I see doing this, it's okay, grieve. When you allow yourself to grieve, you allow the trauma (severe or mild) of your loss to move through you, which is better than it festering inside of you. As you express the grief, your Heart opens wide, this often is very painful; however, what is happening, is that you are realizing the depth of Love that you have for this person and most likely that they had for you. You become flooded with Love. Once your Heart is expanded, it is very hard for it to return to a smaller size. This is good! For your expanded Heart is able to receive more Love and you are more able to see the many ways in which you are Loved.
I have grieved Kate and I will continue to miss her. I will most likely go to pick up the phone or send her an email when I'm wanting to share about some trying experience, only to remember she won't be there. I will wish that I could hear her beautiful voice teach me a new song again. However, mostly I am so grateful that I had all these experiences while she was alive. I am grateful that my life was blessed with the friendship of such a beautiful Soul. I am grateful for the many lessons that we shared together. With this gratitude in my Heart, I continued to harvest the Tulsi.
It was not lost on me that while I was thinking (and missing) my dear friend, I was with two incredible Heart Plants, especially Rose. Rose is the Plant who helped to put me back together after my brother's death. Normally, I would credit this to the remarkable Plant Spirits/ Plant World, saying that the Plants show up when we need them most. However, in this particular situation, I think Katie was at play. See Kate's remarkable gift (and challenge) was to always put others first. Even as she was dying, she wanted to know what she could do for us. It would be just like Kate to be sure that I would receive the healing and Love I needed whenever I was missing her. (And yes, Kate really did think like that. She took care of every last detail, being sure that everything was perfect.) All the more reason for the tears of gratitude for Kaitlin O'Shea.
My wish for you is that your life be filled with Kaitlin O'Sheas, those people who surround you with Beauty, Love and Joy; who forever touch your Heart, even if you only spent a short time with them. And may we all follow her example and bring more Light and Love into this World.
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